tired. fatigue. lethargic. exhausted. sleepy.

I ammmm very the tired.. My body and my head was so heavy.. I cudnt bring myself to look forward to werk.. but no choice I have to attend werk before I go off for my leave which I am sooo excited of..I mean who isnt rite when its her very first time to fly on the plane.. Jakonist katakan.. =)

Sat, Sun..fully packed and busy with Bestie's wedding..
I am sooo relieved dat everything went fine.. and smooth..
Tho it was a tiring wkend fer me but it was the best and fun event I get to help out..
and plus she's my bestie and first fren to get married ..
She was looking so pretty and sophisticated..
Well Done..

Pics will be uploaded soon..

And haiz.. I was tricked by Baby..
Was bit mad ah..
Now he loves his bike more than me.. ahakz.. kalau leh nk pelok aje tu superfour..
I was very surprised to see that new bike and it really took my time to believe he actually got tat..
I still miss Ms Red Spark but now..dah change gf.. haiz Ms SuperDuper Four..
I promised to get hi Super5 wakakakakakak ..in ur dreams dingdong.

And now pinggang n butt asik crampz hor..
Hehe.. but hence I love it.. =)
And of coz I love my dingdong san too..lolz

And hence ..

Juz one more day.. ONE MORE DAY..
And I havent pack..
Wont be bringing so many things..

Toodlez..

OH NO!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOO !!!

Today's my dearest MaMa Birthday.. How cud I ferget..
26th July 08..
My Leo mama..
Im not late..

I wana wish my mama a Happy 44th Birthday to her..
Semoga panjang umur....

Love u always Mama.. =)

And it falls on the same day as Bestie's solemnization..
suddenly I feel like crying..

As the eldest daughter maybe I havent do much yet for the family..
Maybe I havent been a gud daughter..
But I will ..one fine day.. I will noe of my own responsibilities and practice it..

Okie.. gotta get back to werk.. =)

ToDay's her Big Day.. her solemnization..

Cant wait .. I feel so excited fer my Bestie..
In my group of frens.. she's the first to get married...
Went to her house last nite to juz do some last preps..
Hehe..

And finally my Baby came home last nite from KL..
Miss himm lotz..
Cant wait to see him later at the solemnization..
I 'll be very busy with the bride..
Dunno if i can have the time to spend with my baby..

Well..
Things will change soon and we all have our own lives to lead.
Hmmm..

Lets juz wait fer me to upload pics of The Wedding soon yah.. =)

Toodlez.

I hope it helps..
And it helps me too.. =)
Missing Baby Day TwO.. =(

Toodlez....

When you're away from me, then I realise I miss u so much.
You mean alot to me..
Just 3 days can test me..
Day by the day my love for you grows stronger..
I miss you Baby.. my apple pie dingdong.. =)

pic in Bestie's Dad car ...boring2 dalam kereta ape lagyyy camwhoring ler.. =)

2 more days till ur return to Singapore..
HOpe u enjoy ur KL trip baby..
And I hope I'll enjoy mine soon..=)

Toodlez..

a dragful day i must say..today..
Cuz dah syiok mah yest MC..
It was Beri-Beri Day yest..hehe..but it was wonderful..

Doc said no spicy,oily,milky products fer food.. but guess wat.. I juz cudnt get my hands off the Prestige Chocz.. nice like hell.. hehe..
Managed to catch with Baby yest..
I find him cute yest dunoo y oso..
He managed to get the slippers he wanted and I got nothing fer myself..
Even tho pay's out I duno wat to buy..

But hell yeah I'm gona spend it all out on Bangkok and its coming coming..
Cant wait...
I gotta get heels .. Maklum lah ade orang tu kawin beh kite nk kene glamor on tat day ..

Wakakakakaka..

I hope his new bike will be out by Sat .. at least I can snap snap pics at the guy's side of the wedding.. hanya lah Baby harapan nusa bangsa ahakz..

Well.. some pics to upload on last Sun's wedding.. at JB.. The newly weds which is Baby's fren...To be uploaded.

And maybe some random pics to go with..

Well.. tomorrow's Baby heading to KL.. Haiz will miss him..
Kite makan angin dier pun nak makan angin kekeke..
Cant wait to see him again.. this SAt..

And Bestie..
Henna Nite with u on this Thurs..
Wow..aku pun nak jadi pengantin nih,,, kekekeke..

Toodlez..

I shed tears.
Again..

Maybe someone was rite.. it all happened to fast.

I am giving a break on all this.. whatever happens. I dun care.
I dun need all this..



God is testing me.. And I will accept anyting that comes ahead..

XxX Dark Tearz XxX

yesterday after werk was a shocking evening fer me..
and my heart was shocked the whole nite.

the first time I experienced an accident myself with my company lorry..

it wasnt really a bad accident.. neither me nor my colleagues were injured.. Thank God.
due to a fast riding bike which was riden by a Msian.. he banged to our lorry door.. he was quite severely injured..

I was very shocked.. I quickly got out and called the ambulance for the injured party..
Jam per Clementi pasal nie..
Haiz.. Fatin & Kak Dee.. if kiter jadi meet yesterday gaknyer I'll be very late seh..
But luckily everything turns back to normal after the highway police took down statement.

So I advised,

To all Motorist & Motorcyclists.. Do slow down if you enter a slip road and never ever try to squeeze ur way down beside a lorry which is slowing down.. Cuz the passenger might wanna alight. By law, every vehicle have to slow down and go to the next lane if you see a vehicle slowing down on the same lane.. Be caution. Drive / Ride safely.

My body was shaking.. thanks to my another supervisor who gave me a lift to Clem MRT..
I called Baby straight away.. we were actually kinda arguing on the SMS but I dun care.. after wat happened all I wanted ot hear was his voice.. Dunno why but I was shivering..

Baby calmed me down.. suddenly I feel scared to be on the road.
But nevertheless, insya Allah takda pape..
These are the incidents that will always open up my eyes..
Got worried especially with Baby riding.. but insya Allah I have my faith to God..

Went fer dinner with Bestie.. Had my long time Laksa.. mcm lama tk chill kt Jurong Point..
Catch up on latest updates with Bestie..
Haiz 1 more week gerl... aku nk bli baju kt Bimla nie.. kekekeke..
Pasal kau gerl... akunyer baju mesti nk glamor hor.. kekekekeke..

Got home early to catch Jeritan Sepi.. fuhhhhh very liberal family .. husband nightclub manager and wife wahhh at home smoke n drink.. even keep liquors at home..
Tapi maseh nak duit CPF arwah bapak.. it does happens in reality huh when really in need of money.. siblings can turn to rivals.. hmmm.. a thing to ponder on.

Insya Allah I wudnt leave my parents like dat even when I have my own family..
It's a gud show to watch...

=)

Meeting my baby today.. and gfz tomorow..
Cant wait..
Wat to do fer Sat eh????

Pay also duno go in already or not..

Toodlez..

okie dun read if u tink this is boring..

cuz im bored.. and sleepy and tired.. and exhausted .. and feel like juz dozing off to sleep..
my mind is juz not focusing on the work I am doing now.. it's just somewhere..

Donut session with lovable babes today..
Hope it'll at least stray my mind away from the boredom-ness( is there such a word??)
of werk.. Hehe coincidence I brought my camera along today.. abis ahhhhhh..
Picz galore nanti..

Suddenly I miss clubbing with my dear frens..
Semua dah slow down including me..

BESTIE !!!!! SAW DAT ???!!!! I MISS CLUBBIN LAH.. ESP WITH YOU... wakaka JOGET LESBO.. =)

My Baby do let me club but no over-boozing ...ahahaha.
But suddenly now my body cannot take it already if I were to drink again..
These are the habits that I finally killed..
And I dun wana get drunk animore.. I wana be a gud gud girl..

Huaaaaaaaaargggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ehhhhh bored siak..

Babes... Hunkz!!!! Help me.. ahahahah. Mendak siol.

Toodlez

As promised..
Some pics of me and Baby..
Keke..
Edited tho..

Enjoy.

I love him to bits... My Japanese warrior.. kekekeke.. Dingdong-San.. =)

Insya-Allah.. we'll go thru this smoothly..Amin.

bear with me yahh.. cuz this is gonna be the most mendak entry for the day. And it's all gonna be about me me me and me..

well.. im sure some of my blogger peepz have been asking me to see my new love pic..
well it'll be up soon.. cuz i am juz plain lazy to load photos to my slow and bloody slow lappy.
so irritating.. just feel like throwin it and get another lappy fer free...

my body's aching now and I really wish for some pampering ..
and events are gonna be juz a week away.. Cant believe that time really flies so fast..
i really wish everyday's a holiday.
no need to work.. but money still runs in the bank.. how cool can dat be? in ur dreams Fid..
*rolls eyes*

hmm no more dreaming.. time to pursue what I want in life.. which is my happiness and my success.
I hope this time I did not make the wrong move or decision..
But if it is.. then God's Almighty.. He will surely test me and I accept the fate which will be written fer me..

To be in this relationship, which at first made me think twice.. and maybe more than that..
Made me feel that sumhow I dun deserve to be in love animore..
But finding that sumone finally open up my heart to love once again.
My mum says, if ur heart beats everytime you see him than go fer him..
Mum had been very supportive of me.. Thanks Mama.

Thru the bad dates I went thru which almost cause a police report..
Thru the dates who juz wanted nothing but the body..
Thru the dates who juz had nothing better to do than think fer themselves only.
Thru the dates who thinks they noe me so well that they can rule my life and my movements.
Thru the dates who gave me hope but in the end tells me tat he's a bad guy.. wth??

Thru all those dates which almost gave me a depressing time of my life.
I thanked those guys..Because of y'all, my life is getting better..
Getting better each day.. Insya Allah..
Cuz like in Leona Lewis song, " It'll all get better in time.."
A song which I relate to so much in the mrt in the bus.. and before I even go to sleep..
A song which finally woken me up from my daydreams..the song my dearest colleague Fatin gave to me in one of my entries..
That song taught me alot.. to stand up strong at my own two feet again..

And thanks to dear friends who have always been there to support me and never give up to assist me to move on with life..

"Life can be hard at times, but its the choices you made that made what you are today..."

And for that.. I thank you all.

And thanks to my dearest Baby Rusydi.. Fer always being there fer me.. when I went thru my singlehood.. Fer being there to slowly guide me.. Fer the love and care you provided me ..
Fer sweet moments we had whenever we spend time together.. I hope we both can compromise in whatever we do.. Insya Allah, I hope fer the best in us..

To Bestie.. thanks fer the support. I hope I did not make the wrong choice..

To my other guyfrenz whom I might have disappoint, sorry if I was a bad past in ur life.. but everyting changes at a point of time so I hope you all can accept my decision.

Seriously.. no one can predict what their future will be like..
So.. I juz pray hard to Him tat everything will go smoothly.

Sheesh another wedding this coming Sun with baby's frens... to JB.. duno if I can make it or not..
And hmmmm wat's the color for baju raya this year eh..
Baby kept asking me.. I havent tot of a color yet aniway..
Puasa pon lom lagik..
Siao.. ahahah..

Toodlez..

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

somebody miss me hor..

here's fer you la MdM KhaiRuL..

Just something to ponder on...

Nanti wedding pics ko lak aku godeh and edit ...wakakakkakakakakaa..

Having a red-eyed Friday morning..
Slept at 4am due to talking to Baby on the phone.. dat's y laa cannot wake up.
Discussed on his bike.. Haiz gudbye Mr Red Spark.. miss having rides on ya..
Especially the remp-it moments we both had with ya while I was still dating Baby.. keke.
Besi bunyi grek-grek on road when cornering ish ish... ahhahaa tu pon speeding due to nature's call.. ahahhaha.

So gudbye Spark and hello Wave.. another remp-it bike.. ahaha.
Aiyah dun care la as long as my Baby with me..
All dat doesnt matter, what matters most is..I hope we both can go along fine..
So fer now Baby and I have to go public for the moment..
For him he stress la.. ahahaah too long never take MRT/bus..
For me.. used to it alot.. so no probbies fer me..

Today date with Baby to duno where.. Havent plan yet lah.. But I tink top of the list wud be Sushi..
Cuz he's been asking me about it.. And ya hor long time never eat sushi..
Soooo Bestie jgn jeles hor.. Aku n Didi eating sushi later.. If u wanna come along tell me hor.. we both dun mind u joining.. cuz dua2 lak tu HANTU SUSHI..
See la if money enuff.. hurhur.. This month haiz really had lot of cut cost..

15 more days to Bestie's Wedding of The Year cum Mama's Bday..
19 more days to Bangkok Mania..

Gosh I can't wait soooooo much..

not much..
my Baby's bike broke down.. he have to get used to public.. keke.

bought myself a new Digicam from Olympus.. haha.. cuz my old camera wahh piangz so not the cool kekek.
I guess I have to sell the old one to Cash Converter.. dunno how much oso can get..

met Bestie yesterday to get some of her stuffs plus my camera..
wakakak.. and we ended up borongz kat Candy Empire Vivo..

My Bestie dah macam makcik sipot kekekee.. Y borong? Cuz buy 1 get 1 free..

I'm really like counting down so much to my paradise..
I'm so excited.. to like finally get the feel of flying in an aeroplane..
Pathetic me rite.. but fact lah... never went on a flight before..
Due to my mum's fear of flying.. since small we never went on holiday further than M'sia..
Hehe.

And finally I must say I miss hanging out with my frens.. Shah, Fara, Shidah, Akbar, Sham.. and sooo many more..
I just hope to see u guys on CT's Big Day.. the only day I hope to gather us all..
Since all going to adulthood and will soon go their own ways..

Next wedding I hope to see Shidah and Akbar ..on the wedding platform..
Make sure eh Akbar.. ko simpan duit kau..

Then maybe next Fara & Huz.. cuz both seems perfectly fine..

Then maybe me.. but.. no lah .. kekeke ..I dunoe ehkz.. cannot say.. too early.

But I wished, prayed and hoped that all my friends are doing fine.. and happy to see all of them happy..

Okie..next up..
Have to save fer Batam getaway with Baby and Bali with frenz.. kekeke ..
Fatin.. taK sabao per .. hehehehee

Toodlez..

Dark Tearz

pretty rite.. the goes the newly weds.. Congratz to both of them...Finally Sharul cut off his long hair.. hehe kan smart sikit.. the bride is sooo pretty... May both kekal ke anak cucu dan akhir hayat.. =)

and of coz me pun dpt rasa naik pelamin nyer.. nasib tk roboh wakakak..

aiyohhh i look fat seh in the pic.. but nevertheless the pic looks fine..

the wedding was at Tampines..byk la bdak motor escort.. I saw Pakara Happening Team..
Nanti aku kawin sape lak eh nak escort ...wakakakakakk..
Bestie wedding?? Gadis Misteri??? ehehehheheeh...

Well...
Soo happy to see ppl around me getting married..
My turn? not yet lah.. most important, I wana be ready for everything then I can think of weddings.. =)

After the wedding.. headed strate home.. pantat jam perr.. from end to end .. hehe.
Went out with Baby.. fer dinner and had a great time.. =)
He was wearing the shirt I bought fer him.. Bright Culture kekeke.
Missed him already..

And its gonna be 2 MORE WEEKS to my trip..hehe cant wait..

And yeah after all the weekend past .. Monday was feverish fer me.. Too tired I gues.. so did not go to werk.. =(

Today I have piles of work waiting fer me.. And I think I wana get a new camera today.. Hmm see how it is..

Toodlez.

To kickstart a new week of mine... let me recap my weekend.. hehe. A tiring one I must say..

It all started with Friday..
Ended werk at 6 plus.. mit my baby at Beach Rd again.. wakkaka he was with his fren chilling..Then rode off to Marina Sq to eventually get our dinner but then.. ahahhahaah... rice finish, beef finish.. lallalalalala...

Since baby wanted to eat Yoshinoya sooo much.. he asked me to taste the Beef Rice.. wkakaka..and yes of coz not Halal hor.. but then .. gamble jer ah..
Mentang-mentanglah DingDongSan.. haiz part makan very choosy.. nak Jepon jer.. nyampahz.. So we headed to Yoshinoya and before we cud even order our Beef Rice.. the crew serving us at the counter mentioned.. "Arrrr sorrry ah Rice hor must wait 20mins." Baby was like... huuuuuhhhh ... must really wait 20mins ah? Then NVM I shall wait.. kekekke.. But the crew continued saying.. "Errr but by then hor 20mins u wait hor .. after dat shop close oredy lehh!!" Walauuuuuweiii..... then we decided to cancel order and I just get my Potato Mix set.. After paying fer mine.. Baby asked again.. "Sure ah no more rice.. ??" Skali the crew inside suddenly shouted..a bit gay-ish ah the way he shouted " Eh Eh..wait ah .. got rice.. got rice can order..."

I was like wat the heck.. Got rice or not sia.. Then I cannot tahan.. I ask them are you all trying to joke with us or wat.. Baby face dahhh merah sehh.. hahahah..
So Baby told me.. "B, I really wanna eat the Beef Rice seii.. Haiz..!"
Alahaiizzzz cian sehh.. So we asked the crew since got rice ah we really wanted to get the Beef Rice for dinner..

And guess wat ppl.. "Alamak very sorry hor.. Beef no more.. !!!"

Aahahha the F*** can just say store closing mah.. stupid ppl.. no brains..

Felt sorry fer baby.. he had to get Twister from KFC instead.. but hence we enjoyed our dinner outside since we had takeaway.. with the cool breeze outside..

We just spent the nite enjoying the lights from the Flyer.. a nice view.. I must say.. till morning.. Rode off home at 1am..

Then there was Sat..
Actually had to be at Wdlands by 10am.. but I reached there at 11am ahaha standard Fid slalu late.. Me n my colleague Alia, decided to head to JB fer some shopping and jalan2.. In fact the one doing shopping was mostly me..

Things I bought: My top fer Bestie wedding, Mum's mthly magz, Novels, Ciggies fer Baby, Kacip Fatimah.. wakakakak & top fer Baby.. teehee..

Not much la at City Square but I sure bought alot of stuffs at Larkin.. hehe.

And was glad Baby love the top I bought fer him.....Headed straight to his house carpark.. Accompanied him do his bike.. Fid da mcm makcik sipot per.. with all the stuffs she bought fer the day.. Sent me home and off he went fer his Dad's bday makan2.. =)

I was sssoooooooooooooooooooo tired that I cudnt wake up the next day..
Which was our Mr Sharul's wedding.. almost wanted to kirim but I finally make it to the wedding.. Hehe..

What happens at the wedding??? See my next entry hor.. =)

I heard the ex's brother got engaged on Sun too...Congratz to him and his fiance.. =)

Toodlez.

I miss my dingdong.. Correction = DingDongSan.. kekekek
Given by dearest Fatima.. hehehhehe.. Fidahchi lah mcm mcm..hehe.

Tummy hurts mah.. mcm nak cocok2 ngan pen perot aku nie.. keke.

Upcoming event is my colleagues Wedding.. Wedding of the Year pe.. lets see who escort the bride and bridegroom.. Ade chance fuhh Madvac, LitterVac, QC, Mech Sweeper semua dtg kai smart mamat escort tu pengantin kekekekek.

Happening per..

And been decades since I went to weddings..
This July have to attend 2 weddings.. colleagues and bestie..
Gonna be very busy ..helping her out..
Cant wait fer everything to happen..

Nakk pakai baju ape nie !!!!! doinkz.

Oh yah hor to my Bestie.. my mama wants to borrow your wedding cake.. since her b'day falls on your Solemnization Day.. (Hari Pernikahan) hehehe.. pinjam jap posing2.. then kasi alek .. ok ehkz??!! kakakakka..

Apologies for the crappingz here eh.. Too much to think..

P/S: I feel so different now.. I feel so much appreciated.. These are the things love can do.. I miss you.. =(